News — March 16, 2015 at 10:46 am

The 10 Best One Liners From Justin Bieber’s Roast

by

bieber-roast

Last night, a host of celebrities and comedians turned out to give Justin Bieber the grilling of a lifetime for Comedy Central Roast, verbally accosting the popstar.

 

The singer, worth an estimated $200 million was pummeled with insults by the all star cast including Kevin Hart, Jeffrey Ross, Hannibal Burres, Natasha Leggero, Shaquille O’Neal, fellow musicians Snoop Dogg and Ludacris and homewares kingpin Martha Stewart. Heck, even Ron Burgundy couldn’t resist a drop in appearance to serve up some fresh insults.

 

In fairness, the 21 year old managed to absorb the roast relatively well, smiling throughout the grilling as he was torn to shreds about everything in his life from his tabloid lifestyle, driving skills, attitude towards women, and even his (lack of) facial hair.

We’ve found 10 of the best insults delivered Bieber’s way across the two hour filming of the special.

 

“Justin Bieber, the man. Why are you here? … You are about to get f**ked harder than Orlando Bloom f**ked Selena Gomez.” – Chris D’Elia

 

“Justin Bieber is a full-grown man who works and loves and makes things with his hands. He sings to 9-year-olds and his hair is like a gay figure skater.” – Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy

 

“Selena Gomez had sex with [you]… proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.” – Jeff Ross

 

You gotta give it up for Justin. He started from the bottom and he’s still a bottom.” – Hannibal Buress

 

“I’m here to give Justin Bieber some tips for when he inevitably ends up in prison … Change up those tattoos. You have an owl on your arm and the word patience on your neck. I would suggest the words white power, full back, so you don’t look like some 14-year-old girl’s Trapper Keeper.” – Martha Stewart

 

“Justin’s life changed when Usher heard one of his songs and liked it, which only goes to prove that Usher ain’t black.” – Snoop Dogg

 

“You acted so much like a pussy on the show that Ellen [DeGeneres] tried to eat you.” – Ludacris

 

“If Anne Frank had heard your music, she would’ve Uber’d to Auschwitz.” – Jeff Ross

 

“Sixty million Twitter followers? The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower.” – Martha Stewart

 

“Orlando Bloom took a swing at you; you have a perfume called Girlfriend; you threw eggs at a house — not gangsta.” – Kevin Hart

 

It wasn’t all just one way traffic though. Bieber was able to fire off a few barbs of his own and whilst his talents are probably better utilized on stage, he proved he wasn’t going down without putting up a fight. “What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”

 

He delivered a coupe of zingers to fellow celebrities like Ludacris “He and I had a lot of hours making the song “Baby” together. In fact, he told me it was the only baby he ever made on purpose” and Martha Stewart “Thanks for coming. I’ll bet that’s something you don’t do much of anymore.”

 

Bieber also took a moment to speak candidly about his public perception. “There was really no preparing me for this life. I was thrown into this at 12. The things I have done don’t define who I am.” He added that someone close to him had advised him, “It’s how you rise from a fall that truly defines you as a man.”

 

Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber airs on Monday March 30 on Comedy Central.